#KhudKoKarBuland:From Papa Ki Beti To Sab Ki Chaheti

Watching this beautiful video of Birla Sun Life Insurance' bought a sense of relief from struggle in my own life with a few drops of tears in eyes in retrospect.If it is so difficult for a kid suffering from ‘’ and his father,imagine us,who live their normal lives with certain ups and downs and still complain.However,at the end,it is the love with a bit of planning that keeps everyone on track.It is also the time we give to others,that makes life easy and worthwhile.This is a story on how we kept our 'Hoslas Buland' to achieve what we ever wanted from our lives.

"Main dikhti hoon maa jaisi sab kehte hai ... sab kehte hai, sach kehte hai ... par main hoon apne papa ki beti”

To the most stubborn girl in my college days who had never witnessed any discomfort thanks to people in life who surrounded me;for the last few years I was all in the open,completely nude of my thoughts,willing to trust.Often so happens that,the world isn’t fair when anything unfortunate happens but is totally in sync when there are applauds.It is then one realises who are and who would be with you forever;friends,family,spouse the true colours come out open.Sometimes you are left alone and in those times,you are reminded that your savings(Emotional and Material) can only save you.I never learnt the art of saving thanks to Dad in my teens,who would gently tell me to ‘save’,but would pamper me with so much love that I never needed the material gains.He would often gently put a blanket on me when I slept in the trains,even making my bed till the last semester of my college.I would often watch him pursue his dreams in balance with his work.Astrology as his interest was for one year,in that one year,every weekend he would come from his posting and join the class and go back.We hardly understood his passion,but his desire to write on the stars got him a medal.He even was appreciated for his command on Hindi at a national level.

                                              #KhudKoKarBuland:All Life Needs Is All.Balanced.                                              
The inspiration got into me,like a healthy disease.I would often think if I could achieve excellence in field I love but neither was the desire strong nor was the maturity to pursue them.Even though right from the beginning,I got prizes in Music,Drawing and Studies I was least interested to pursue either of them,so much so that when I joined the Engineering College it was only because everyone else was doing so.I hated Maths to the core,and I wonder if it had any significant influence in my life ever.Good part was I never felt jealous or insecure,as to me ‘My own objective was to do my best’,’rest I never cared’.

My school best friend would often suggest me to save but I would like any ‘colony’ kid would refuse to let go of my comfort level of thinking neglecting it as just another option for older people.Because as today,I was used to living in ‘now’.And as any other colony kid,I was often surrounded with naukar - chakkar for help.I even didn’t know if there was a queue for Railway tickets until I got my first ticket in my third year in college.I thought life was automatic,and everything came ready made. Often people complain on their restrictions to pursue their dreams.Dad had a softer side but his harder side was restrictive that made our movements difficult as independent.Even if I had to go anywhere,I had to take permission as every household,going solo was just out of question and tagging along someone was 90% of the times the chosen option.Most often, the answer would be no to free - spirited reckless wander,which clashed with my hopes and dreams. Learning to grow in the restriction and expand my boundaries was one thing I learnt early on.

Hoping that bad things would get better doesn't make them better

#KhudKoKarBuland to fight and act on your bad and turn them into good.

A lot of people would disagree to what I say today.But the past three years has gained me insights into things I had hidden in the corner.The change in me,started to happen a few days before my marriage.My dad said one day to mom,that the money from our savings is going to create a marriage of our dreams.That was the day I knew the power of savings.As I watched my granddad carefully,I saw balancing married life and friendship wasn’t as big deal,for even at the age of 80,he had his best friends and school friends,playing at club with him or were laughing at the silliest of jokes.At this age of Wassapp and Facebook he had his diary with phone numbers of everyone he considered his.How many of us do that today?

After struggling my way into the world of software of 5 years,neither my heart was,nor my mind was into mindless coding.I was doing so,to balance my healthy appetite for shopping to the salary I get and was content in my own world.Until one day,I left it to a better me.The better me came with a share of struggles,I call learning phase.Joining an adventure firm that didn’t let me travel,but others travel,I wasn’t satisfied with what life had to present to me.Sooner I realised I needed money to travel to places I wish to.This time,I had no source of free income.Hopping into part times,home based jobs which gave me salary to sustain,with savings to plan for my future travel was the only option.It was then I came bang on with the ideologies I resisted.Should I save for future or should I live in present?I often would see my friends and peers,invest,and would wonder why if they anyways have to pay in instalments.My passion wasn’t a new home in my name but a new destination I would love going to and that is where I invested all my energy which fetched me two awards and 17 destinations in 3 years.

Everyone goes through a grumpy face not once but many times in a year

What makes the curve from :( to :) is love.

 But often clouded with the achievements of oneself,we forget that it involves a price to pay which others call it ‘I was lucky or unlucky’.Luck is a passing phase.Last two years,to me was the struggle of the worst kind.Besides blogging which I love,I was suffering from chronic Sinus and Thyroid disorders that made my mood swing like there’s no tomorrow.I would take medicines daily,so that I do not sneeze every minute,so that my fever is low.My nose would pain,my face would be swollen,and I was groggy and irritated.One moment I’ll be happy,other moment I’ll be bursting in tears.One moment I would want to travel and leave for months,another moment I would want myself to be wrapped in love.One moment,I would love to pose for my style moment,another moment my body will resist perfumes and makeup,building in rashes. Meanwhile,I experienced hurt from people who I thought were closed allies.Stress grew into me like a climbing ‘money-plant’ tree.I would often look towards the fan and wonder ‘why me!’ and then would blog.I would eat less,talk less and was conscious if my face in the videos were perfect.I would forget lines,would stumble with every sneeze or heavy headiness.It was also when I got several interesting opportunities I had to say ’no’ to,but to me now,building up my image wasn’t my only motto in life.I had outgrown on what people talk about me,outgrown if it ever mattered.Outgrown if there was anything negative in life,only lessons we never understand.Talking to one of my friend who overcame ‘cancer’ which the world consider ‘an invite to death' by positive thinking and treatment,I was convinced the world isn’t as bad.Her funda was ‘Be brave,forgive people,do what you feel is happy,listen to what your body says to you,work out,be nice to others’ and rest leave to God.

My closest peers,would know I was so weak,but how strong my blog spelt like!

 The beauty of the virtual world is it can disguise the pain in your face with soothing words.

People who would hurt or trouble will most often be the closest ones

But once you know what their needs are,there is beauty in everyone.

And every plan with them then comes naturally.

 But during my days of struggle which others give in to,I chose to attend every wedding I thought was close,spent time with my family attending their birthdays,my friends who I sang with or listening to when I wasn’t well,my husband who even with my groggy face would kiss me and say everything will be fine,my in laws who I never had time to understand.As my medical bills rose to Ayurveda,Homeopathy,Allopathy,I felt a huge sense of responsibility to earn and contribute. I would never take my sickness as an excuse to anything,giving time to everything that was important to me,no matter what.Later I started accepting my swollen face or a rash here and there and started a blog where makeup and pose doesn’t have a place. Suddenly in spite of so much work on my blog and otherwise,I had time for everyone,because now my happiness came from them being happy,the happiness I missed in me when I wasn’t well.More often than not,we never realise how important time is for everyone,and more important love is,until we find that we are too weak to get involved.I started appreciating myself and the values I have.

 I was sure,if I give it to what nature is willing to take from me now,I would never have the strength to get up.I attended sessions which spoke of health,preventive measures,stress,talks.I read my horoscope to know if there was a time I would be fine.Like perfectly able to breathe,sleep,dance.Like rest of us.The final bang came just before my one month backpacking trip to Europe.I completely blacked out walking with a friend. I didn’t know if it was stress or something else.But I decided to solve it,going then and there to a doctor ,getting injections for a week and leaving the next week.For a day or two,I felt an effort to get up and get going,but later I ignored even little symptoms which tried finding its way in.Coming back,now I know perfect balance in my lifestyle.

 Adding fun and run,discarding bad emotional habits,ignoring gossips,balancing between real and virtual,laughing and spreading love to people who respect and value more was my mantra.If it wasn’t for my dad’s inspiration to excel and rise above,I would be still lying at any corner,crying,hoping that someone helps me.If It wasn’t for my dad’s fight for his passion,I would still be married to some stranger I never knew.If it wasn’t for my dad’s words,I would still be spending every penny on fancy clothes than my dreams.If it wasn’t for my conflict with restrictions,I may have lost myself in the routine considering it another safe option.If it wasn’t for my hubby’s generous comments and support,I would still be wondering if love came with an expiry date or endless sacrifices.If it wasn’t for my friends patience,I would still be singing my tunes alone.If it wasn’t for my swollen face,I wouldn’t be knowing what harmful chemicals do these upmarket products contain? If it wasn’t for my bad health,I wouldn’t be knowing who my true well wishers are.This to me,came as a blessing,as a lesson to make me realise important things I had been missing on.

 Do you still think,fate makes you?Think again. Chances are Grass always looks Greener on the other side.

But saving for a better life and planning it well makes all the difference backing up every risk you take,every bad thing that happens and every good thing that comes your way.

So instead of shouting ‘Lul ho gai hai hamari life” at every difficult turn,#KhudKoKarBuland and each dream will be yours!